Katrina's Journal, 06 January 2022
The Diagnosis
[Trigger Warnings for Caterpillar Girls]
[And a postmodern interruption]
Yes, I know, I have a sometimes uppity personality. Believe it or not, this is really quite strange for me, because I don’t remember myself being like this in my world. Or perhaps disconcerting would be a better word.
Usually I am a very affable, friendly and diplomatic person. Really I am. I mean, sure, I can certainly swear like a fucking trooper when the situation calls for it, but when it doesn’t my demeanour is distinctly well-spoken and polite. I was, truth be told, really quite rude to the hapless customer service assistant in Sainsbury’s yesterday. Normally I would have shown extensive empathy for the poor fellow. Like all of you, he has been subjected to well-nigh two years of deliberately inflicted trauma. And he’s not responsible for the neoliberal addition of palm oil into chocolate bars.
And maybe more than that – he’s a human being. And in a world like this that is governed by monsters, we humans should show solidarity, and look after each other.
So on my way to Parkside this morning I made that little detour and apologised. He accepted it gracefully.
No extra loyalty points forthcoming though. Fair enough. A girl’s gotta try. But for an extra apology I did buy some freshly made rolls and some organic ham and lettuce for my mid-morning snack, along with a tasty bunch of bananas. Instant energy, you know.
I am digressing again, I know. People obviously ask me why I can’t remember anything of my life before 16 November last year. And, naturally, this leads me to having to tell them about Malcolm’s concluding diagnosis. My coaches, who came to visit me in Paris (all expenses paid, got to stay at the Ambassador’s residence – well, you wouldn’t pass up that offer, eh?), were of course fully apprised of my condition, but most people in my clubs weren’t…
[Evie’s postmodern interruption: I have decided to temporarily remove the rest of this particular entry in her journal, as it has too many spoilers. Having a reader-privilege gap is one thing, but this veers way off into spoiler territory. So, I shall leave that opening, along with the cryptic trigger warning, and repost this entry at a later date.
Let’s say that Katrina got nervous about posting it, did so, then got nervous again and deleted the second half of it and, instead, published an intro to her new Liberal Socialism, parallel world history section of her Substack. That kind of stuff isn’t really spoilery.
Please forgive me if this pisses you off right now. Perhaps I’m getting you used to the idea of a paid subscription thing – I’m still working on this, so please bear with me. In fact, I’ve been having a grand rethink, which I shall write about shortly. But don’t worry, in the meantime, there shall be a lot of nice stuff available for free.
And yes, there will be more Katrina’s Journal entries forthcoming, as they don’t contain any naughty spoilers.
Thanks for reading! And to all my subscribers, thanks for your solidarity!
Oh – p.s. – I’ve kept the opening to this journal entry because I wanted you to know that Katrina did apologise to the poor hapless customer service bod – she has these weird moods, you know… But that would be a spoiler. But I wouldn’t want you to keep thinking that Katrina is intensely dislikeable. She’s infuriating and insufferable at times, sure, but she has a pure heart.
Honest.]