42 Comments
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AliB's avatar

I can *hear* Rod Serling when reading this!

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Nick Buchheit's avatar

WOW! I was smiling and chuckling at this very meta but also very real satire/allegory of being a writer. I should have known we both would be in this category. Glad to be sharing it with you.

This and your Inanimate Objects piece are now two of my favorites of yours. I'm also impressed how quickly you put this together. It took me a full four weeks. Good shit!

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Yay! Thank you! I'm glad it hit the mark I was intending. I simply couldn't think of anything until it popped into my head, so maybe it was my unconscious writing it all that time, just not telling me until two days left. Mischievous muses indeed.

And yeah, not surprising we are in the same category - I have yours lined up for very shortly... This really is quite a feast of stories and I've only just got going.

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Nick Buchheit's avatar

Yep. Going to have to figure out how to get through them all.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Everything in moderation, perhaps? (Like smoking lol; and cats for that matter)

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Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Wow, you do great work under pressure! I loved it.

Most beautiful line: "Accompanied him on detours through the forest where the wild deer cavort and the corvids conspire."

Most amusing lines:

“Ah – small print, small print.”

“No one ever reads that.”

“Well, they should.”

The most heartbreaking: "He looks up from his weeping and offers her that hopeful, childlike look his own parents never acknowledged, never noticed, never cared for him at all."

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thank you Jeannine!

You chose some good lines there. They did all just pour out. That particular muse must've been very concerned about me not getting anything wrong.

I often work well under pressure of deadlines. Sort of forces it all.

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Jeannine Lawall's avatar

Your muse must be very happy with you!

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Garen Marie's avatar

This was such a smart take on the muse, Evelyn. She was great: optimistic and disappointed, creepy and sweet, submissive and dominating, all by turns. A very fitting representation of writerly inspiration. And that final dungeon. Oof! Well done.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thank you Garen! I will be reading yours shortly - I love your title, as I adore that bit of Shakespeare ‘Oh for a muse of fire to ascend the brightest heaven of invention’. Just the title alone and knowing your penchant for dark witchy fantasy heralds something I am pretty certain I am going to enjoy.

And yes, I do like this particular Muse. Perhaps I should turn her into a proper character and give her a series of adventures (clients). Even if there’s a little bit of Unofficial Katy in her. Which is no bad thing of course.

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Garen Marie's avatar

Would love to see her pop up again in your stories! She deserves more time. And yes, the title’s taken from that Shakespeare line. You’re the first to mention it!🥇Our muses are a *little* different. Or maybe mine just got a rash of terrible clients and lost/gained her spark. Hope the story lived up to your expectations.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Yeah - muses must go through such a range of emotions! They will definitely need periods of respite for themselves now and again.

Ah - now there’s another idea - rather than a writers’ retreat, a muses’ retreat, where - for once - they get to be totally free of ‘all those damn writers… and artists… and musicians etc.’

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Nick Winney's avatar

it reads like it just poured from your mind Evelyn...fantastical, funny surreal and whimsical. great idea about the writers block and the muse. had me guessing all the way through but every turn was delightful. poor chap! and Why no owls? why???

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

It did just pour out, v true. It always seems to when I’m having fun. ‘Write what you know’ - ‘well, I can’t think of anything’ - ‘ok, write about that then’. That was basically it. Funny way to overcome lack of inspiration.

See reply to your note for the owl question.

I’m so chuffed you liked it. But I did think you would.

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Gregory Blair's avatar

This just casually slips its way into such a delightful, wry mix of slightly creepy and slightly cheeky. I loved that first dining room scene! And the Writer's Block! LOL! Chef's kiss!

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

That was kind of what I was going for so I will happily take that positive review! Thank you!

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Don't think I've ever had a chef's kiss before so this is a delicious response 🙏

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Sir Jay's avatar

I liked Postie but not pathetic Darius and certainly not his lifeless muse. Postie is the hero of the story. I wish it were only about him and the packages. Actually you should have had the postman rip into one of Darius's packages and read his fiction and then Postie marks it all up, everything he hates about in red pen, and sends it back to Darius and Darius and his critical but anonymous postman go back and forth like this with Darius learning to be a proper writer from his scathing, withering postman, and perhaps have Darius commit suicide at the end. Or, you could have Postie figure out where the retreat is and rescue Darius.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Lol.

1/ One thing that pleases me is that at least you were not indifferent to the whole story. Indifference is the worst, after all.

2/ You are kind of right about Darius being a bit of a pathos-driven character - which is sort of the point. As for the Muse she will always be at least partly manifested/limited by the individual she happens to be chaperoning at the time. But Darius is perhaps more of a caricature than a character.

3/ I do like your version as it happens. Ironically part of me was thinking along the lines of Darius wakes up every morning to find words have been added to his manuscript that he doesn't remember writing. Words which are far better than anything he could come up with.

4/ If you prefer the version you have suggested, then perhaps you, yourself, could write it?

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Sir Jay's avatar

I admired the energy of the prose but that’s it. You have confidence unlike a lot of amateurs on here who are too self-conscious.

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Sir Jay's avatar

And yes, I might take you up on that. Thank you for the invitation. I’m a little competitive and whenever I read people’s work on here, I imagine how I would have done their writing differently. It’s interesting you picked up on that, but it was also implicit in my criticism.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

I’m always up for a nice competitive slam, so let me know when you’ve written it and I’ll have a look and offer some constructive criticism. Or cake or death, whichever you prefer!

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Sir Jay's avatar

Alright. You’re on. Give me about a week.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Just tag me at the top or bottom of your post and I'll get a notification.

I had a look at your latest little scene, which I liked (hopefully you noticed), so I'm looking forward to your quirky take on the affair...

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Hanna Delaney's avatar

Excellent. You've completely captured the essence and the narration is just 👌

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thank you Hanna!

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MA Knight's avatar

Never surrender! Love it

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thanks! I’m chuffed you liked it. And for the sub!

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MA Knight's avatar

You have a such a fun voice! Looking forward to exploring your work more

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

This one was quite popular: https://inadifferentplace.substack.com/p/the-inanimate-rapture?r=2s9hod

For the TiF inanimate objects disruption.

There's also my Alters Index (mentioned at the end of Elwood)

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MA Knight's avatar

Saved!

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Not the writers block!! 😩😩😩 loved this story! So funny and clever

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thank you! Even more pleasing coming from a bully lol! I submit!

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Happy Nielsen's avatar

Hahahaha you’re lucky I liked this story or you would have seen the bully come out 😤😤

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

I will so definitely be bearing that in mind for future reference lol...

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Saint-Lazare's avatar

Well I guess my own muse is not too freaky after all.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Lol! Probably similar for a lot of the wonderful and quirky and talented people I’ve met here on Substack…

Freakiness should be celebrated! Down with boringness!

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Angela Allen's avatar

Love the intrusive narrator voice and the arc of this one. Great descriptive details. Those conspiring corvids are going to haunt me a bit.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thanks, Angela! Yes, those corvids are far more intelligent than humans think…

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Shane Bzdok's avatar

Chuckling the entire way through. The way you wrote the omniscient narrator was exquisite—narrating the story, but also dropping snarky comments on Elwood's uninspired writing style. Very creative. And entirely clever. I really enjoyed this, Evelyn.

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Evelyn K. Brunswick's avatar

Thank you Shane! Those are really lovely comments and I’m chuffed! I’m getting more and more chuffed actually with all these lovely likes and positive comments - this has been my most popular post by far.

Note to self: must do more like this!

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Shane Bzdok's avatar

Yes, please. 🙂

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